Looking for a marriage counselor? I specialize in marriage counseling
Couples come to me and say:
“I love her, but I’m not in love with her anymore.”
“We used to be best friends. . . .”
“We’re more like roommates than husband and wife.”
“We cannot communicate — about anything.”
These are four of the most common disappointments that bring couples to counseling with me. I hear these four every week. Oddly, these are encouraging to me as a therapist, because I believe: If you had it once, you probably can get it back.
From the research of Dr. John Gottman (“Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”), I know that a deep friendship is the healthy foundation of a good marriage. Plus, it’s common sense. Yes, poor communication makes life miserable together, but you are less likely to be unkind or impatient with each other if you’ve got that friendship thriving. So counseling with me is not just about the Do’s and Don’t’s of communication, but also deepening the friendship and deepening what Gottman calls the Fondness and Admiration System.
If your husband just told you “Wow, that was an amazing beef bourguignon, thank you for all that effort!” You’re less likely to get in that sour mood over his leaving his underwear on the floor again. Again, it’s common sense, but couples build so many resentments over the years that they forget to do the kind and loving and even cute things that were so darn good in the beginning of their relationship — the “why” they fell in love.
Dr. Gottman is the regarded as the country’s foremost relationship expert, and I am trained (Level I) in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. I use some of his findings and methods in almost all couples work. I also am an expert problem-solver. I can’t tell you how many times clients have said to me, “I never thought of that. . . .”
I hope you’ll give me a call and let me help you rediscover happiness in your relationship. You deserve it! Call 720-234-6010.