The “Masters of Marriage,” as Dr. John Gottman calls them, celebrate each other with traditions and rituals. My husband and I have a very special one for our anniversary, which is Jan. 1. Because the last thing we need a week after Christmas is more presents, we buy engraved champagne flutes and toast our anniversary and the new year.
Each flute has my name and his name, the date and the number of years. On one, my name is first, and on the other, his name is first. Because we’ve been doing this for about 15 years, we can throw a heckuva champagne party! We’ve had the champagne tradition for about 15 years, though we have been married 38.
For many years on the anniversary of our first date, which was Valentine’s Day, we would eat at the Heidelberg restaurant. The original was in Kansas, but since then we have lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, Denver, Colorado Springs and Naples, Florida. We rarely had a problem finding a Heidelberg, though last year we dined at Helga’s in Aurora.
Another tradition I often share with my clients is from the wonderful marriage of our friends Phyliss and Dave. When their children were young, and their evenings were full of basketball practice or karate, they had an unusual birthday tradition. When a birthday rolled around, they celebrated with birthday cake at BREAKFAST! It was fun, and funny, and a little naughty.
I share these traditions because I encourage you to create your own. Be Masters of Marriage, and create some memorable traditions.